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After being forced to watch all of his duties as the Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs being handed over to that flash Noongar MP Ken Wyatt, Uncle Tony Abbott is now scrambling for employment options outside of politics.
The former Prime Minister had reportedly been toying with working as a hip hop video producer in remote Aboriginal communities, that’s if he couldn’t land a cushy job lecturing at Sydney Uni.
However, with daylight burning and no job offers in the mailbox of his humble three-story Northern Beaches mansion, Uncle Tony X is going back to where it all started.
The streets, of Warringah.
Going under the rap name ‘Tone Def’ – the recently-ousted public servant is now looking to try his hand at Australian hip hop – with hopes of possibly becoming the third member of A.B Original.
However, it seems even Uncle Tony X might be a bit too brash, even for the historically tough genre of hip hop.
“I still haven’t heard back from Briggs” says a disheartened Uncle Tony X.
“Maybe the demo got lost in the post”
Uncle Tony says he feels his bedroom E.P might be a bit too raw and unapologetic for the Australian scene, with songs like “Fuck Tha Plebiscite” and “Get Rich Or Unelected Tryin”.
“I thought I would be perfect for the historically homophobic and misogynistic platform. Has anyone been following the last twenty years of my career?” asked Uncle Tony.
“The games gone soft”
The Betoota Advocate has reportedly reached out for a comment from Briggs and Bad Apples Records, but we were told that Uncle Tony got the wrong brother.
“There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'” said Uncle Tony.
“Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em”
