CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A cold inbox from a woman who once made your life hell can only mean two things, it has been confirmed.
Betoota expat, Tink Lehmann (34) has experienced this first-hand today.
After graduating school as an ‘in-betweener’ that found herself wedged between the popular netball villains and the kids who would write Twilight Fan Fiction on the steps of the faculty room, Tink has lived comfortably in the big smoke for nearly a decade now.
It’s for this reason that she is not overly excited to see a new message in the inbox of one of her lesser-checked social media accounts.
“Oh no” says Tink, as she see’s the unread DM from Bella Toksyk (nee Ransidd) with the opening line that reads ‘Heyyy Tink. How have you been?! Just wonderi…’
Having just gone through a messy break up, Tink immediately assumes that Bella is on a dishonourable mission to pry gossip about these unfortunate personal matters that she has no business asking about. Information that will be instantly distributed around their hometown to all of the similarly bored and small-minded young mothers who would be absolutely ecstatic to learn that a fun and busy life in the big city isn’t everything that it’s cracked up to be.
Or perhaps Bella is inquiring about other gossip that Tink might be able to help with.
Maybe she wants an update on Tink’s brother’s mate that died suddenly a few weeks ago. Or maybe she wants to finally clarify the rumour about Tink’s cousin actually being a closeted Lesbian who lives in a sexless marriage with her introverted husband that nobody knows much about.
It could be anything really, but what it isn’t is good news.
After a day of weighing up if she’ll even bother entertaining this toxic smalltown bullshit, Tink is eventually overcome by her own sense of curiousity.
The message reads:
‘Heyyy Tink. How have you been?! Just wondering if you are still working in sales. Because I’ve got an amazing opportunity for you. Basically NatureGlow is an all natural detoxifying supplement made from all natural derivatives that help fight debilitating illnesses like Lymes disease and long Covid through natural attacking agents. It’s not actually listed as an official medicine by any of the pharmaceutical bodies because they make too much money treating these ilnesses!! Crazy right. Anyway let me know if you wanna join up. I can start you off with your own online office and you’ll be starting as a Partnerships Guru”
