CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local university student has shocked his housemates today, after treating himself like a king at the check out.
The normally thrifty aspiring engineer named Andy Wilcocks (19) blew away his peers during a group trip to the budget supermarket and holy grail for uni students, Aldi, on the outskirts of Betoota Heights.
After exiting his housemate’s 03 Toyota Corolla named ‘The Superfreak,’ rather than scrambling for the specials section like amatuer footballers on kit day at their local club, or scanning the packaging for discounted stickers, Wilcocks calmly looked elsewhere.
While his housemates weighed up whether they would eat that kilo and a half of chicken breast in the next 36 hours, or would that beef really make them that sick if they chanced their arm on the use by date, the young engineering student silently assessed the full priced steak for the best and nicest looking cut available.
Finally noticing the extremely odd behaviour, housemate and close friend Chip Skase raised the issue with his seemingly cashed up friend.
Speaking to our reporter who was making a rushed and bulk purchase of toilet paper for the newsroom down at the store, Skase explained how rocked the group
“Yeah, I asked him (Wilcocks) what the fuck was going on,” Skase said.
“I mean not a day goes by where he doesn’t check that Unidays app for Domino’s pizza deal,” laughed Skase.
“Once I finish uni I will never touch a fucking value range pizza again. I swear to god.”
“We waited like 7 days for a new X-Box becuase he founded a cheaper deal on the Unidays app.”
“The point I’m trying to make is the guy’s a truffle pig when it comes to value. He’s always chasing a deal. So that’s why it was so strange to see him just buy a pack of full priced prime meat.”
“Next thing you know he’ll be buying craft beer by the six pack, or wine in a bottle and pissing his money into the wind just because he can.”
Our reporter spoke to Wilcocks about his out of the ordinary purchase today.
“Yeah, I don’t know, I won a Premier League Multi overnight, and just thought I might treat myself,” he said.
“I know all these bin-chicken’s minds are blown, but you’ve got to spoil yourself every now and then, and it’s better than buying an old $50 Wu-Tang shirt from a vintage clothing retailer like the rest of them do.”
“Anyway, I’m going to go and season this thing up and have it for lunch without any veggies. Because I don’t live at home anymore and I can’t treat my body as poorly as I want.”
