CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With just less than 3 million Australians that have received both of their shots, it’s become quite clear that Australia’s current jab roll-out is the most needlessly complicated government program since they sent letters to the entire population to ask them what their vibe was regarding marriage equality.
However, it has been reported today that 38-year-old from Betoota’s leafy French Quarter reckons it wasn’t that difficult to get immunised.
The Betoota Advocate has tracked down this unicorn and she has agreed to an interview, providing we don’t use her real name, out of fear of being mercilessly trolled by the militant anti-vaxxer movement that has been growing steadily ever since our Prime Minister recklessly undermined public trust in the AZ jab with exagerated statistics regarding blood clots in an effort to buy some more time for his shonky roll-out.
Clancy Overell:
Thanks for joining us Josie*, you claimed that the process you went through to get both your jabs was quite easy to navigate, are you aware that these comments contradicts the general consensus of every other Australian.
Josie*:
Yeah, like, I’m hearing people can’t get a booking until late September. That certainly wasn’t the case for me.
Clancy Overell:
So what’s your secret Josie, did you pretend to be a frontline worker? Or do you have an immunodeficiency that put you at the top of the list? You certainly don’t fit the prioritised age category.
Josie*:
I just clicked this link that my friend sent me and booked an appointment, all on the same day. It was the P jab too so I only had to wait a month between jabs.
Clancy Overell:
Right. So where did that link take you? Was it it your local hospital or GP?
Josie*:
Actually it’s funny you say that. I had to go down to this weird community hall near Betoota Ponds to get my jab. Turns out it was a program for homeless people, except because you had to go online to book the appointment and have 10 points of ID, they weren’t getting too much traction haha.
Clancy Overell:
Wait, what? You got a vaccine that was meant for a homeless person?
Josie*:
Clancy Overell:
Okay… So you don’t feel guilty..?
Josie*:
Nah. The doctors said they were so happy I found the link, because they’ve had so few walk-ins that they are worried about the jabs expiring.
Clancy Overell:
So what you are saying is, that any Australians who want to get their jab need to get sent a WhatsApp link by a friend that directs you to an underutilised homeless outreach programme meant for society’s most vulnerable.
That actually sounds pretty fucking complicated.
Josie*:
I guess it is.
Clancy Overell:
But you’ve got your jabs.
Josie*:
Yeah. I got them. Just in time too. Apparently they had to shut the link down because heaps of people were forwarding it around to their friends and too many people were going down there.
