CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It’s official, this woke feminism stuff has gone too far.
That’s according to the Attorney-General Christian Porter, who has only just discovered that ‘these women’ get their very own day.
While sitting at home on paid mental health leave, a luxury not offered to the working man, Christian Porter has run out of ants to burn in the backyard with his magnifying glass.
It’s only Monday, not even half a week after he decided to take time off from his role as the first law officer of the crown because of rape allegations that have been uncovered from his time as a state representative debater in the late eighties.
So after running out of torturous things to do to innocent animals, he’s decided to spend his paid leave hate-watching the ABC 24 news loop.
After hearing Michael Rowlands and Lisa Millar discussing the importance of International Women’s Day on ABC Brekky, Christian Porter initially misinterpreted what the day was for.
“Ahhh yes” he whispered, creepily.
“International women are my favourite game. Hehehe”
However, after an inspirational montage of sound bites form Grace Tame, Julia Gillard, Brittany Higgins, Julia Bishop and Nova Peris was sprawled across his TV screen – Paid Porter quickly realised that International Women’s Day had nothing to do with celebrating the exotic body types of foreign women.
“Ohh what!?” he snarls, while sitting cross legged on his $45k living room couch in boot cut jeans like a real psycho.
“This isn’t about Brazilians. This is about feminists”
Paid Leave Porter sighed, and looked around his empty Perth mansion to make sure no one was there.
“What’s next?” he says.
“International crippled black children day?”
“These feminists want their cake and they want to eat it too. What about International Mens Day. What about Australian mens day”
“What about Australian Attorney Generals Who Have Been A Victim Of Leftist Hysteria Day!!”
MORE TO COME FROM PAID LEAVE PORTER.
