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‘Social Distancing’ is the new marketing term for doing what you can to not spread COVID-19 with the public – if you think you might have it and are awaiting test results.
Anyone arriving in Australia from overseas will also be forced to engage in social distancing for 14 days, the Prime Minister has announced tonight.
Scotty From Marketing says the new measure will be in place from midnight (AEDT) as the Federal Government deals with the coronavirus outbreak.
But what is social distancing? Experts say it’s not as uncommon as you would think.
Professor Sam Stormdarude from the University Of Western Queensland is an expert on social distancing, and says it is a practice pioneered by technology addicted Millennials.
“The key is to act like an unemployed uni student” he says.
“Social distancing, as we know it, basically means eating food in bed and watching Netflix all day and night. It is very similar to the behaviours seen in millennials after they are coming down from taking pingers”
The professor went on to clarify the differences between social distancing and self-isolation.
“Self-isolation is a bit more intense. It means not having anything to do with any of your family either.”
“It’s more similar to a millennial heartbreak than a millennial come down – it’s very anti-social. Australians who are told to self-isolate should consider watching all five seasons of Broad City eight times in a row”
But where do these two prevention models differ from full blown quarantine?
According to Professor Sam Stormdarude, proper self quarantine is much more stringent.
“We call this millennial-who-is-fighting-with-everyone-in-their-social-circle-over-someone-kissing-an-ex-from-three-years-ago”
“This is worst case scenario and can last weeks”
If you would like more information on social distancing, visit here: www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/health-alerts/coronavirus-covid-19/take-action/self-quarantine
MORE TO COME.
