CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After finally breaking free from her trash-TV induced catatonic state late last night, local woman Angela Mason (34) has rushed to catch up with the Australian news cycle.
After weeks of dedicating every waking hour to the trials and tribulations of the young men and women that make up the bottom of the barrel in terms of Australian reality television, Angela is taking this opportunity to get up to date with what everyone else is talking about.
After opening up several news apps on her phone, the local primary school teacher is bombarded with thousands of backed up news stories about the many different scandals and convictions that have filtered through the newsrooms this week.
“Oh wow. The NRL is really having a shocker” she tells her husband, Joe.
“Like this is really bad. These guys sound about as dumb as the blokes I’ve been watching on Married At First Sight”
However, while deep in her news-binge, it appears that Angela has made the mistake of mixing up two of the nation’s most scandal-riddled institutions. The Catholic Church and the NRL.
As an atheist who doesn’t like watching contact sport, it’s understandable that Angela would confuse the highest-ranking figure in the Australian Catholic Church with a millennial footballer – given how fucked both those two organisations currently are.
The NRL off-season from hell, as it has been described, has involved just about every felony under the sun – except for the crimes Angela is currently associating it with.
“What NRL team does George Pell play for?” she asks her husband.
Joe, who can’t be bothered explaining that while the NRL players a fucking bad, they aren’t that bad – decides to see how long he can keep this going.
“Parra” he says.
“Absolutely disgusting what he did”
