KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local bridesmaid is filling her empty bank account with tears this morning, as she laments the price of having lots of friends.
Having just clicked over the big 3-0, Kayley Johnstone from Betoota Lakes is gearing up for a big year of wedding duties, as she anticipates watching every colleague, school mate and cousin about her age tie the knot.
But with five weddings already logged in the calendar, Kayley has told The Advocate that on top of setting fire to her current savings account, the raft of weddings will also totally dry up her annual leave allowance.
Logging on to “ThriveNet”, the weird company portal where she applies for leave, Kayley calculates that she’ll have minus 20 days of annual leave before she even gets to the forced shut down over Christmas.
“It’d be easier if everyone just got hitched on a Saturday out at Betoota vineyards, but nooooo… everyone wants a destination wedding these days!” whined Kayley.
“I’ve got Yara’s wedding in Byron in May, then I trek to the Hunter Valley for my bogan cousins in June, my friend Nayomi booked Tasmania in July, before Claire gets married in Townsville cos her fella is in the Defence Force.”
“Not to mention my best mate Taylor just asked me to be maid of honour, for a wedding in Uluwatu on a fcking Thursday!”
With no chance of having her own holiday, let alone a weekend away that doesn’t come with a compulsory dress and shoe purchase, Kayley says she’s going to start to charge her friends for her appearance.
“Stuff it, from now on I’m getting myself an ABN and I’m going to start invoicing these people for getting to enjoy a weekend in my company.”
“If the wedding isn’t within a 5km distance from my house, they’re paying ME to be there!”
More financial ruin to come.
