KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact
A quick-thinking boyfriend has successfully pacified an unimpressed girlfriend this morning with an impromptu trip to the farmers markets.
After promising his girlfriend that his Friday night would involve no more than two quiet beers with some footy mates, Brenton Coopers (33) had a night that was anything but.
Stumbling home at 1am this morning, reeking of pale ale farts and pizza, footage from the couple’s home security camera confirmed that Brent was so rotten drunk he couldn’t find the keys to his own home and decided to piss next to his mailbox while he waited for his dearly beloved, and sleeping girlfriend, to come unlock the door.
Now marinating in a brutal hangover and the fact he’d been put in “the doghouse,” Brent decided the only way to win back some brownie points was to suggest an impromptu trip to the local farmers market, hoping to cool down the hot looks he’d been subject to all morning.
Wandering amongst the crowds of uppity kombucha-from-a-tap types who venture to East Betoota Public School every Saturday to buy $14 jars of pickles, Brent found himself in literal boyfriend jail—a community farmers market.
As his nostrils dragged him toward the smoking gozleme stand, Brent decided a quick pit stop at the busiest stall in the market was an easy way to score an early boundary.
Stopping by the floristry stand to pick up a $36 bundle of baby’s breath, Brent splashed out before surprising his girlfriend, who was killing time at a soy wax candle stand.
“Here you go, babe, a little something,” Brent offered sheepishly, spluttering slightly as a mouthful of last night’s XPA almost broached his throat.
“Awww, babe, they’re so lovely!” his girlfriend swooned, despite deep down actually hating baby’s breath and wishing he’d at least given her the chance to pick out her own flowers.
“Yeah, uhh, they’re pretty, hey. Anyway, I’m gonna head to the loo. Want to meet me at the corn fritter stand in like 20? Breakfast’s on me…”
