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In a stunning revelation, an all-girlie share house in Betoota’s French Quarter has been embroiled in a covert cycle of chocolate theft and replacement,
The three housemates—Lucy, Tash and Chloe—are believed to have been sneakily raiding each other’s secret choccie stashes for months. However, it appears none of them have come clean, choosing instead to perpetuate an unspoken agreement of chocolate-for-chocolate reparation.
“It’s been going on for ages,” admits Tash, while conveniently munching on a block of Dairy Milk she “definitely bought herself.” “Like, if I take Lucy’s Lindt balls, I’ll just replace them with something from Woolies before she notices. I think we all do it.”
According to reports, each housemate has convinced themselves they’re the only one aware of the chocolate heist, despite the fact that no one’s stockpile ever seems to run out. Meanwhile, a half-eaten box of Ferrero Rochers that mysteriously refills itself every Thursday night has become a household legend.
Psychologist Dr. Mandy Perera from Betoota Polytechnic explains that this bizarre ritual could be a bonding exercise, masking passive-aggressive tensions in a household filled with women who refuse to admit they’re capable of anything as petty as stealing.
“They’re maintaining harmony through theft,” Dr. Perera says. “It’s oddly sweet, literally and metaphorically.”
When approached for comment, all three housemates vehemently denied any chocolate-related wrongdoing.
“Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Lucy, sliding another Toblerone into her handbag.
