ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Member for Hume Angus Taylor is feeling an unusual sense of unease this week, but can’t seem to put his finger on why. Our reporter caught up with the Shadow Treasurer via phone call while he was at his family’s farm in Nimmitabel, doing the sort of rural work you’d expect from a man in desperate need of some time away from the pressures of Parliament.
Chasing sheep across paddocks and trying to jam his American Express Centurion Card into the Eftpos machine down at the Royal Arms.
“Yeah, mate. It’s been flat out here. Bloody card reader machine keeps rejecting my Amex. You’d think they’d have fixed it by now, but no. I’m also having this issue with my Royal Cayman Bank account. No one believes it’s real!” said Mr. Taylor, laughing off his exotic asset pool.
Despite the mild irritation of a malfunctioning Eftpos, Angus couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he was meant to be somewhere.
Perhaps it was the fact that King Charles III and Queen Camilla are currently in Australia, attending a series of high-profile events in Sydney and Canberra, but Taylor was more focused on his four-legged friends than royal receptions.
“It’s not like I’m missing anything crucial. Just the usual electorate shit, right? A couple of committee meetings. Something to do with the Commonwealth… or was it the CSIRO? Not a big deal, I reckon,” Angus said.
At least, that was the story until our reporter reminded him of the royal visit. Suddenly, the Shadow Treasurer’s voice changed tone, going from calm to complete panic.
“Oh no, wait. Fuck me. The King and Queen! Bloody hell, I knew there was something major this week! Anthony’s probably been hanging out with Charles at Parliament House, and here I am, stuck with a bunch of flyblown sheep. Gotta go, mate. Have to make some calls… Jesus, I hope they haven’t noticed I’m not there! I went to his bloody school!”
As Angus hung up, there was one last bleat from the sheep, who seemed just as alarmed as their shepherd.
More to come.
