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It’s just ticked over 2:30am at a Betoota Valley kick ons and third year Physiotherapy student, Drew Sommersby, is about to see his first patient. Despite operating outside typical business hours and his blatant lack of qualifications, a half-dozen friends remain undeterred and are eagerly lining up to have their injuries assessed. 

The Advocate’s reporter just happened to be on the scene and managed to speak with some of Drew’s patients to uncover just what type of injuries they’ve let go unchecked, yet seem appropriate to have looked at after fifty thousand schooners. 

“Yeah so when I get out of bed in the morning I can’t walk, like my feet are sore to walk on” 

“I have one calf bigger than the other” said another. 

“I get sudden, severe attacks of pain, swelling and redness and tenderness in my joints, often my big toe” added one tall, thick set bloke who is definitely just describing gout.  

With the rising cost of living and stagnant wages these struggling uni students just can’t afford the therapy they need each week to treat the bashing their bodies take in 3rd grade footy and being a general loose unit on the piss. While unadvisable, their eagerness to try black market therapy is understandable. 

More to come. 

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