RORY SALAZAR | Property | Contact
A humble billionaire born and bred in our very own Betoota has broken their self-imposed silence to grace the world with their unsolicited views on things they deem are the most important to us all.
Despite the absence of any demand from the general Betootian populace, the enigmatic billionaire emerged from their opulent penthouse balcony atop the 22nd floor of the City’s flagship skyscraper that critics say is more suited to Dubai, to video themselves delivering a TED Talk-like monologue to their millions of online followers on the intricacies of life as seen through their diamond-encrusted glasses.
The billionaire spoke on topics ranging from economic theories to the necessity of war, with a generous sprinkle of “holier-than-thou” sentiment to which, after viewing the footage, The Advocate felt viscerally repulsed by.
In a moment of profound insight, the billionaire explained how the entire world should be run, apparently under the assumption that their own net worth grants them divine authority on all matters.
The egotistical maniac even managed to break basic Human Rights Law by suggesting some pretty extreme restrictions on reproductive freedoms.
“Dumb poor people shouldn’t be allowed to have babies if humanity is to survive,” they proclaimed, oblivious to the fact that they themselves reportedly have the IQ of a Buffoon and were just lucky to be born into a wealthy family dynasty.
Though nobody asked for the guy’s opinion in the first place, worldwide public backlash quickly brewed against the man, causing the billionaire to walk back their initial statements.
This led the idiot to then try and directly relate to the everyman by proclaiming that commoners should “work harder” and “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” if they wanted to be successful like him.
A number of other billionaires have since come out in support of their opinionated peer, backing up claims that it is up to them to repopulate the planet with useful humans that are smarter than poor people who are lazy.
Nobody asked any of these billionaires to share their advice, though, that’s what The Advocate doesn’t understand.
More to come.
