ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local Hire-A-Hubby franchisee put the jug on this afternoon and walked to the window as the soft desert rain soaked the red plains a sullen maroon.
Dennis Rockcliff is waiting for the Queensland Police to arrive at his home on Fraser Circuit in Betoota Grove. The 47-year-old’s Hire-A-Hubby van is parked close to the bins so the paddywagon has room to pull in behind.
The police are coming to get him because during the winter of 2007, he completed a number of cash handyman jobs in town and failed to declare the income to the Australian Tax Office. A serious crime.
While giant multinationals and big businesses continue to flaunt and disrespect our taxation legislation, the Australian Tax Office announced this week that they’re ‘reviving old debts once deemed uneconomical to pursue,’ which means hardworking Australians like Dennis are in their crosshairs.
As the jug clicks off and the kitchen windows fog, Dennis wonders how he’ll fare in prison.
“I hope the crims are kind to me,” he told our reporter.
“Perhaps if I keep to myself, they’ll let an old crook like me just do my time and go without too much trouble. When my son gets home from school, I’ll have him show me those Russell Manser TikToks about going to prison.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to say. That I’m going to prison because I didn’t tell Peter Costello that I painted houses for cash over a three-month period some seventeen years ago.”
The Australian Tax Office confirmed to The Advocate that they will be pursuing Dennis to the full extent of the law.
“Dennis owes the Australian taxpayer over $350,” said an ATO spokesperson.
“And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure there’s more fringe benefit tax to investigate regarding the use of his Hire-A-Hubby van for personal use that he’s claimed as business. Such as driving his kids to school on the way to a job. You can’t claim that whole journey, like he has been doing. Disgusting.”
“There are thousands of Dennises around Australia, owing a collective $15 billion. That could purchase 150 torpedoes for our new submarines. The possibilities are endless when everyone pays their fair share.”
More to come.
