EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A bloke in dire need of an ADHD assessment has been shocked to discover that it’s not only a pretty convoluted process, but ridiculously expensive, it’s reported.
Ian Marsden [28] tells The Advocate that he’d first considered he might be of the jittery leg persuasion when he tried dexies at a house party last year, only to discover that while everyone else around him seemed to be getting an upper effect, he just seemed calmer.
That, and being told ‘you’re so ADHD, cunt’ by multiple mates, saw Ian attempt to get in touch with a Betoota Heights psychiatrist who specialises in it – only to be informed the wait list is four months.
“Yeah I went to my doctor and enquired about an ADHD assessment”, says Ian, “I was a bit worried because I’m sure there’s plenty of people who have self diagnosed because of Tik Tok.”
“Apparently everything is a symptom of ADHD and autism. I don’t think I have autism.”
“Haha I love that Tik Tok sound that’s like, ‘it seems we both got autism haven’t we?’ I can’t remember what show that’s from. I’m actually trying to watch less TV. OH! But you know what rabbit hole I’m going down at the moment? That Four Seasons Orlando baby, fucking hilarious. What would our version be, a Hogs Breath baby?”
“Um..yeah anyway, ah, I don’t know it’s so fucking expensive to get an ADHD assessment. Apparently it can cost a few K?”
“May as well get dexies at that point. Dunno why they’re so tight about it. Also how am I supposed to remember an appointment in four months, I’d fucking forget.”
“Maybe that’s why there’s a huge waitlist. Just a bunch of us scatterbrains forgetting appointments and rebooking.”
“You know what’s a great invention, though?”
“E-scripts.”
“Absolute lifesaver.”
“Anyway I’m just going to stick to my bong.”
More to come.
