ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A middling lawyer at a mid-tier domestic law firm has shown up to work today in a pair of $49 chelsea boots he got from Tarocash yesterday – much to the amusement of his managers and coworkers alike.
Dennis White, a construction litigation and insurance arbitration specialist at Hand Manpoll Head Partners Betoota, clip clopped his way from the lifts to his cubical this morning and turned a few heads doing so.
According to sources, Dennis’ manager expressed concern last week that the Clarks school-style shoe held together with black gaffa type was unbecoming of a lawyer of his age and PQE. Dennis agreed and told his managing partner that he’d have it sorted.
Before leaving on Friday, Dennis looked around the office to see the sea of balding, pot-bellied, private school born-to-rule shitebags all had the same pair of shoes on. He supposed he should probably get something along those lines. He spoke to The Advocate a moment ago and detailed his trip yesterday to the Betoota Heights Stockland arcade.
“I walked into RM Williams and they wanted $600 for a pair of boots,” he said. “That’s $300 a shoe!”
With rents going up around town thanks to continued failures in Federal Government policy, the joy and zest of life has been stripped from Dennis and largely hand-balled to his landlord. There’s not much left at the end of the week to go around, thanks in large to his tight budget.
“I wasn’t going to spend that much on a pair of shoes. So I decided to head down a few shops and see the selections at Tarocash,” he continued. “Now, I found a pair of boots that kind of looked like a pair of RMs. They were $49, which means there is a 100% chance whoever made them is being exploited. Park that to the side, they’re actually quite snazzy. They’re Recession RMs. Considering we are in a per capita recession.”
One of Dennis’ colleagues spoke briefly to The Advocate about the fallout.
“If your lawyer was wearing those bootleg RMs on their feet, would you feel confident of celebrating a win?” they said.
“Someone should’ve told him to get his pants taken up, he’s worn some scollops out of the back of his trousers. He’s a mess, now he’s gone and bought these fucking clown shoes.”
More to come.
