LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Australian dads are finally giving meditation a red hot crack as popular sleep and meditation app, Calm, releases a 12 hour relaxation loop featuring the constant clicking of barbecue tongs.
Like the rhythmic hits of metallic drumsticks that signal the intro to a symphony of overcooked meat and onions, 100% of Australian dads are known to give the BBQ tongs a few opening test clicks just to make sure the tongs are in working order.
This sound has become synonymous with the ashen smell of blacked steak mingled with the sweetest tang of tomato sauce alongside a white salad of potatoes that mum routinely apologises for buying and not making at home.
Put simply, this type of moment is a mental refuge for blokes who have reproduced as they partake in the bone-deep neolithic tradition of feeding their grateful family a host of fire roasted meats while huddled outdoors.
But it all starts with an effective pair of BBQ tongs, the quality of which can only be assured after dad has given them a pair of primal clicks, the sound of which is now being used to lull dads into the most relaxing sleep they have had since they became responsible for other people.
“Aaaaah, this is my favourite bit,” stated recently chilled-out Betoota dad Collin Cormerly (42) with the sort of relaxed stupor he usually reserves for a bit of classic Silverchair.
“Who’d have thought a bit of tongs was all it took for a good kip. Might be time to give this pillow a turn then hurh hurh!”
MORE TO COME.
