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Logan Centrelink has reportedly been investigated by local authorities for blasting Britney Spears 2013 smash hit ‘Work Bitch’ in the waiting area.
The initiative, spearheaded by the by the Morrison government, was being tested as a way to motivate Centrelink-dependants to ditch Newstart and ‘gain employment – an idea the government obviously thinks hasn’t occurred to any of them before.
Now, in between dropping their dacks for a piss test, recipients are awarded the privilege of hearing ‘Now get to work bitch’ on repeat.
One such person who was privy to Logan’s short-lived experiment was ex-accountant, Melanie Stewart.
The fifty-five year mother of three had just been given the sack when she begrudgingly made her way into her local Centrelink. After navigating her way through the long line and tapping what services she needed on the prehistoric office iPad, Melanie found herself in the waiting room.
“At first I was just listening to a couple have a domestic spat,” says Melanie, “but then I heard what they were playing.”
“Honestly, it’s a new low, even for Logan.”
The Logan office had originally planned to play Dolly Parton’s ‘9 to 5’ but found that it actually had the opposite effect that they’d hoped.
Torn between that and adding sad face emoji’s to bank statements, the government has claimed that they are trying to appeal to millennials with the princess of pop.
“We’d heard of scientists playing Mozart to rats,” says a Logan City Council member, before pausing, “I now realise that doesn’t sound too good, can you scratch that?”
This new controversy comes shortly after the robo debt scandal, which saw thousands of Australia’s most vulnerable people accused of owing money to the governemnt due to clerical errors.
In response to the robodebt scandal, Prime Minister Morrison has reportedly announced plans to switch Britney with Rihanna’s ‘Bitch betta have my money.”
More to come.
