LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A rather abstinent form of alternative medicine seems to be the go in a Betoota all boy sharehouse as the only thing they have resembling pharmaceutical goods is a well worn bottle of Clear Eyes.
The sharehouse in question is a Betoota Ponds rental property with knee-high grass and a defaced sign that reads Devo Cunts instead of Devon Courts.
Despite the complete lack of yard work, the residents of Devo Cunts are all male, something that becomes more obvious when you step inside the rental bond blackhole and admire the elegant tower of unwashed glasses, all of which were procured for free from a fast food restaurant.
According to the testicled tenants, the dishes are only this high because they don’t have a dishwasher or washing up liquid or any type of detergent, surface spray, sponges, air freshener, paper towels, plastic wrap, or anything that helps contribute to general cleanliness.
However, if those eyes of yours are feeling a bit raw and ready they do have a bottle of Clear Eyes ready to soothe those peepers.
Available at any pharmacy and many supermarkets, Clear Eyes are eye drops intended to soothe red or irritated eyes caused by allergies but are used by cone heads to moisten up their dry red eyes in 100% of uses.
If anyone visiting the Devo Cunts has a sore throat, headache or runny nose they will find medical treatment options lacking, yet those with even the slightest trace of red in their eyes will immediately, and generously, be offered a couple of drops of Clear Eyes.
“Here, have some of mine, this is the secret stash the other boys don’t know about,” said every one of the Devo Cunts at some point during their interview with The Advocate.
“There you go, you’re all good to drive home now.”
MORE TO COME.
