LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Office worker Beatrice Bremmer (35) is considering going to HR and The Hague today after her co-worker Cindy Clunk (30) audibly cracked her neck and had the gall to ask about it.
Both working 9am – 5pm desk jobs (unofficially 8am – 6pm desk jobs) Bremmer and Clunk spend a lot of time in each other’s company as they slowly trickle away the sands of time in the egg timer we call life.
During this time the two have got to know each other fairly well, whether they like it or not, in a relationship that can best be compared to that of cellmates.
Yet today Clunk crossed the line with a stomach turning flourish as she leant her head to the side and cracked her neck with all the grace of a dictator’s statue being toppled by the people.
“Ooooh, did you hear that?” Clunk asked her coworker after releasing a shuddering crack that could likely be heard by someone in the downstairs car park.
“Woah! That was a biggie wasn’t it?”
Managing to keep down her teriyaki chicken wrap, Bremmer made eye contact with her coworker and gave her the most office appropriate shakedown to date.
“That causes arthritis you know,” stated Bremmer, hoping the perpetually disproved theory would get her co-worker to stop treating her neck like a forsaken sheet of bubble wrap.
“Do you think you could do that in the bathroom next time? Or at least let me pop my noise cancelling headphones on and transfer to another office?”
MORE TO COME.
