STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
OH HOW DIVINE: After months of painstaking curation, local coastal housewife Sarah Smith, 42, has officially completed the interior of her beach house with the final, non-negotiable touch—something teal.
The mother of three, who describes her aesthetic as “Costal Chic,” has spent weeks agonising over the perfect shade of ocean-inspired decor to complement her white linen lounge and rattan furniture.
“You simply cannot call it a beach house until you’ve introduced a tasteful pop of teal,” Sarah explained, gesturing to her brand-new ceramic vase that, according to guests, is functionally identical to the one she replaced last week.
Sources confirm that this is the 17th “finishing touch” Sarah has added this month, with previous contenders including a driftwood lamp, a shell-encrusted mirror, and a set of ethically sourced calms from the Great Barrier Reef.
Husband Greg, 45, was reportedly relieved to hear that the house was now “officially finished” but remains sceptical after spotting a fresh Pinterest board labelled Hamptons Coastal Vibes.
Experts predict another trip to The Boathouse Group within the week.
More driftwood to come.
