ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man known for his refined tastes in life has been asked this morning if he was wearing supermarket deodorant.
Mark Simpson, a local real estate agent and BMW lessee, was not wearing supermarket deodorant. He was wearing Tom Ford’s signature Tobacco Vanille fragrance. If it’s not worth half-a-week’s pay, it’s not worthy of being on his throat and wrists.
The accusation he was wearing the flash new Lynx fine fragrance left the 32-year-old stunned and lost for words, he says.
“I was meeting a few friends in the park for coffee and just threw on a t-shirt, shorts, kicks and gave myself a little spritz of Tommy F because I was running late and didn’t have time for a full shower regime,” he said.
“When I get there, Mike and Jackie were already there. Jackie got up and gave me a hug and laughed. She asked me if I was wearing the new “going out on the town” Lynx,”
“Honestly, I could’ve died there and then. Fucking Lynx. But on the way home, I felt an urge to go to the shops have a smell,”
“I sprayed a bit on my sleeve and gave it a honk – and fuck me. It’s pretty much the same.”
The Advocate spoke to Jackie Davis, a PDHPE teacher at Green Road State School in Betoota Heights, about her friend Mark and how he usually presents himself.
While initially confused as to the newsworthiness of their interaction in the park, it soon became apparent why.
“As a PE teacher, I get to enjoy every available scent that Lynx puts out,” he said.
“You could blindfold me, seriously. I know my Africa from my Dark Temptation. That’s why I knew that Mark was wearing Lynx Black Vanilla. But it’s nothing like your everyday Lynx, it actually smells like cologne.”
“Which is funny. Mark wears Hermes ties, gets his suits from P Johnson. He only wears loafers or ‘deal sleds’ as he calls them. Which is why it’s funny to think he’s wearing Lynx. Why? Did he say something? It’s nice! It’s like he’s wearing Tom Ford. He should be happy!”
More to come.
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