ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Long-time French Quarter resident Gary Mitchell is finding it near impossible to choose the least corrupt candidate in Tibooburra’s upcoming council election.
Despite living in Betoota, Mr Mitchell, 45, has recently expanded his horizons to the burgeoning metropolis of Tibooburra, where he’s invested in a small plot of land. Primarily for tax purposes and the allure of having “a place in New South Wales.” But as a new property owner, he’s now entitled, and somewhat obligated, to vote in the local council election, a responsibility that’s proving to be more of a headache than expected.
“I thought voting in Tibooburra would be a piece of piss,” said Mr Mitchell last night at the Royal Hotel.
“But these candidates are something else. It’s like trying to pick the least crooked branch in a tree that’s basically growing sideways.
The race for Tibooburra Shire Council has heated up in recent weeks, with a colorful cast of characters vying for seats. Leading the charge is Barry Duggan, a local pigeon farmer who’s somehow managed to turn every land zoning decision in his favour. Then there’s Karen “Big Kaz” O’Malley, a former schoolteacher who’s running on a platform of reducing youth crime by giving the police a length of good 30mm dowel to flog naughty kids with when they get up to no good. She says it works in India, why can’t it work here?
Another contender is Mick Foley, who’s wants to build Tibooburra’s fifth skatepark. Coincidentally, his brother runs the only concreting business in town. And last but not least, there’s Les Thompson, who’s promising to bring more tourism to the area, despite the fact that he owns the only pub and caravan park in Tibooburra.
Garry has been doing his best to weigh up the options, but with every flyer he receives, the decision becomes murkier.
“One bloke’s promising to lower rates, the other says she wants police to belt kids in the street with a stick,” Garry mused, glancing over a leaflet featuring Big Kaz’s mugshot-esque campaign photo.
“Another’s all about ‘transparency’, which is a laugh, considering she’s married to the guy who runs the local council audit committee. They’re all up to their bloody neck in it.”
As a man who prides himself on being a straight shooter, Garry is struggling with the realisation that no matter who he votes for, he’s likely going to end up with a councilor who’s corrupt.
“Honestly, it’s just how it goes at a local level. There’s not a shire council in the country that’s a hundred percent clean. They’re all lining each other’s pocketes,” he said. “
“The cunce![sic]”
With election day this weekend, Garry knows he’ll eventually have to make a choice.
“Well, I don’t have to. I could do the gentleman’s donkey vote. I could just get my named marked off and turn around and walk out. Or if I really wanted to throw my vote away, I’d vote for a major party.”
More to come.
