EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Heights woman who just finished watching Nosferatu has come to the realisation that she might be dating her very own Count Orlok, after noticing quite a few similarities between the rat lord and the current bloke she’s dating, it’s reported.
As a lover of gothic horror and a staunch supporter of Nicholas Hoult since his days playing a narcissistic sociopath on Skins, Ali Manning, 28, tells The Advocate that she had eagerly trotted into the cinema to watch the latest modern take on the Dracula rip off.
Which unfortunately left her feeling uneasy, in more ways than one.
“I understand that Count Orlok is grotesque because he’s the manifestation of Ellen’s shame of her sexuality”, says Ali, “but in some ways, I understand the attraction, as I too, have dated some questionable creatures.”
“He’s tall, skinny, has bad posture, comes from generational wealth and has an obsession with his ex.”
“Hints at being bisexual. Has a moustache.”
“All you need to do is chuck in some patchwork tatts and that’s the average bloke from Fitzroy.”
“But instead of sucking blood, he’s sucking down a blueberry flavoured vape.”
More to come.
