KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An unorganised father has made a lazy contribution to a family Easter spread, offering up a box of stale Celebrations which may not be fit for consumption.
Amidst the spread of shiny gold Lindt rabbits and mini Oreo eggs, father of three Craig Forbes (61), is believed to have unceremoniously plonked down a red box of Cadbury Celebrations onto the family dinner table this morning.
Doing his best to pretend he was prepared for the Easter weekend, it’s understood that the special Christmas edition themed packaging has given away the fact that he’s simply recycled an office Secret Santa present from a few months ago.
Speaking with youngest daughter, Elsie (14), The Advocate can confirm that even she’s been able to join the dots and call out her Dad for being a lazy prick.
“It’s a pretty disappointing effort to be honest, even I saved up $12 worth of pocket money to get Nan a gold bunny.”
“Sure, I’m now old enough to know that the Easter Bunny doesn’t exist, but you’d think the old man could at least sacrifice $10 and chip in for a few bags of Dairy Milks.”
Sitting at the end of the table, in between brief nods of sleepiness, it’s been reported that even Grandma ‘Ethel’ Forbes is about to call out her failed son for his paltry efforts.
“That’s one trait he’s got from his father, being a bloody tightass!”
“They’ve rolled me out of the nursing home for Easter lunch and my son puts out a cheap box of mini Milky Ways and those weird Galaxy Caramel things.”
“This Easter breakfast is shithouse, it wasn’t even worth waking up for!”
More to come.
