CLIFFORD GUNCOTTON| Musings | Contact
Betoota grog-monster, mad-dog, mad-rooter and all-round mad-man Trent Huntly has recently found himself without a home, having set fire to the shed at his previous house due to a combination of alcohol, inattention and it being a Thursday.
And in a rare moment of self awareness he has carefully curated his profile on an online flatmate finder to remove any trace of who he actually is as a human being. This has involved new photos and a blurb that removes any trace of his most common descriptor as ‘loose cunt.’
This is despite Trent’s complete inability to clean up after himself, cook, pay the rent on time or even spend a single week without getting blind drunk and doing something considered illegal in all 8 states and territories and immoral in 7.
“It’s pretty easy, hey,” he told this publication, “All you have to do is just write what everyone else writes,” he says.
“Sometimes I like staying in. Sometimes I like going out,” he laughs, “it’s genius.”
Trent’s former housemate, Noah Stefani, has seen his profile and seems rattled.
“It’s fucking terrifying is what it is,” he told this publication, “looking at him online you’d swear blind he wasn’t an absolute menace.”
“He’s got a photo of him in a suit, which is probably from a court appearance. He’s got one of him holding a puppy and a photo of him holding a baby. I’ve got no idea who’s baby it is.”
“I don’t think he does either.”
Below the asinine photos of Trent masquerading as a fully-fledged rounded member of society is a description that belies the horrors that await any suspecting housemates.
Chiefly this involves near-complete removal of alcohol from his persona. Despite the entirety of his camera reel being of him vomiting, running into things and breaking public property, he now states he only likes an occasional tipple.
“Apparently a cheeky glass of red is a thing,” he added with a chuckle, “that’s fucking hilarious, there’s nothing cheeky when I get on it.”
His rapid shift away from his previous persona also follows his recently-updated Tinder profile, which now only has one photo of him being drunkenly propped up by his mates and eight photos from the one day he went to a winery for his sister’s wedding.
