KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
A reserve grade winger is expected to be on jumper wash duties this weekend, after his gratuitous attempt at showboating saw him put an unforgivable stain on his club jersey.
With scores locked at 12-all, a last minute intercept try by Rhys Sailor saw the Betoota Muttaburrasaurus edge out the Windorah Windmills over the weekend, in a thrilling game of underwater rugby.
Striding down the centre of the field, mud flicking from his heels, Rhys couldn’t help but punctuate the win with a soaring swan dive right underneath the sticks.
But given the deluge of bad weather that has soaked Betoota this fortnight, onlookers said James Horwill Oval looked more like a Byron Bay mud bath, such was the thick oozing sludge that covered most of the field.
And given the oval doubles as a dog park from Monday to Friday, recent soil testing by local council has uncovered the ground is actually 80% Labrador shit.
“Fancy scoring the match winner, only to swan dive into a bog of dog filth,” local groundsman Glenn Eales told our reporter, as he began closing off the oval with some hazard tape.
“I tried to shut the field down over Saturday but the ressie boys still wanted to play, they’ve obviously been stuck inside all week and couldn’t wait to belt each other senseless in the mud.”
“Spare a thought for my groundskeeping though, they’ve chopped the oval up so much it looks like the grass cover at the Battle of Passchendaele.”
