KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A shonky local real estate agency has been at it again this morning, devising a bright new plan for cutting some further costs from their business.
After outsourcing the photography of properties to AirTasker and hiring a local orphanage to mow the lawns of houses up for sale, many Betoota locals have been wondering how a notoriously cowboy operation, Hanson & Hanson Realty, could sink any lower in their quest to scar their business reputation.
However with reports around town suggesting that ‘For Sale’ billboards have been appearing even more dodgy than usual, it’s believed the company has begun sprucing up properties with furniture ripped off directly off Google images, despite the fact they’re still watermarked ‘Shutterstock”.
Making matters worse, one local graphic designer has suggested that the entire catalogue for the property appears to have been created on Microsoft Powerpoint.
“It’s ridiculous, everyone knows they’re making a solid fortune price gouging every home buyer in town,” said James Kennedy, a Betoota local desperate to get a sniff in the housing market.
“But when you swipe through these photos and they’ve photoshopped a mud brick fireplace into the living room, and it’s clearly been cut and paste from a Christmas movie, you’ve gotta ask, have they gone too far?”
Speaking to head realtor at Hanson & Hanson Realty, Simon McGrady, its understood the business has been working with an offshore design agency, in the form of a primary school in rural Indonesia, to furnish houses with images off Google.
“What’s inside the house doesn’t concern me, my job is to connect buyers with sellers and then to jump in the middle and jack the price up so high the buyer has to forgo a kidney to afford the house deposit,” said Simon.
“Photoshopping in a few lounge chairs and the odd jacuzzi never hurt anyone…”
“Plus we’re also supporting an underprivileged school with this little hack, in fact we’re thinking of putting ourselves up for a charitable business award at the next Australia Day celebrations!”
More to come.
