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Experts have finally confirmed what many have long suspected: hippie elephant print pants are an unmistakable red flag for erratic and often unhinged opinions on modern medicine.
“My heart sinks anytime a patient walks into my office wearing those things, I just know it’s going to be a huge test of my patience” Krish Patel (44), a local GP.
“It seems as though my 11 years of study is no match for a girl in elephant print pants that just got back from a Bali trip and several nights of unadulterated psychedelic consumption of hypothesising about the lies of modern medicine”
Shockingly, many GPs have said they are far more fearful of 23 year old progressives that wear elephant pants than any far-right conspiracy theorists.
“At least the far-right anti-vaxxers are predictable” Krish lamented.
“The elephant pant wearers have a chilling ability to blurt out the most unhinged opinions out of absolutely nowhere.”
Unsurprisingly, many elephant pants wearers have vehemently denied any claims that there is a correlation to the item of clothing and unhinged takes on basic, well established, medical facts.
“Who even are these experts? who’s paying them?” Said Esther Cartwright (23), a frequent wearer of elephant print pants.
“Lots of low vibration people want to stop us from wearing these comfortable, exotic pants. It doesn’t surprise me at all that this is happening”
When asked about some of her opinions of modern medicine, or even the consumption of tap water, Esther refused to comment.
More to come.
