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A family pizza night at one of Betoota’s favourite woodfired joints has once again been spoiled this week, after a cultured older sister ordered a controversial menu item.
This has only happened because the menu item itself appears to be perfectly normal, except for one ingredient: the sour and cruel canned seafood known as anchovy.
The pizza in question arrives at the table alongside the staples. The Hawaiian, the Meatlovers, the Pesto Chicken and Mum’s request for the acceptably trendy Diavola.
But the anchovy pizza, disguised as a simple Margarita pizza, hides in plain sight until some poor sucker takes a bite.
“Awww dammit Bella why the hell did you go and do that” says oldest brother, Rick (22).
“You’ve gone and wasted a 25 dollar meal”
Bella (19), who has just gotten back from her European gap year, feigns shock.
“What? Anchovies?”
“Oh my God, have you’ve never had anchovies on a pizza before? They do this all the time in Europe”
The youngest, Benji (16) throws in his two cents.
“We’ve had it before. It just sucks. That’s why nobody wants it. You can eat that whole thing and leave the normal pizzas to us”
Bella looks at mum for support, but mum shakes her head in agreeance with the bogan sentiments of her sons.
Dad also agrees.
“You’ve played a shocker here Bella. Nobody wants any seafood on a pizza, let alone canned seafood. Where the hell else do you see anchovies apart from on pizzas that nobody orders”
“The only canned ingredients that should be on pizzas are pre-sliced pineapples cubes”
Bella returns fire.
“Dad, you know anchovies are an active ingredient in your beloved Worcestershire sauce” she says.
This information has left dad rattled. It cannot be true.
