ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Australia’s peak scientific body revealed the findings of a new study this afternoon that set out to discover what the height of luxury is – causing some controversy in the process.
The CSIRO came to the conclusion that the must enjoyable, luxurious activity a human being can do is to enjoy a ‘premium’ cigarette such as a Peter Stuyvesant Filter or a Benson & Hedges Smooth and enjoy it while relaxing in a pool.
“Surprising, to say the least,” said one researcher.
“The telephone survey canvased over two-thousand Australians from various backgrounds and heritages and they all said they loved smoking durries in the pool more than anything else. Shocking, but telling.”
The news is music to the ears of tobacco growers and cigarette manufacturers, who’ve long championed having a smoke while swimming.
Stopping short of saying it’s vindicated his entire industry, a spokesman from British American Tobacco explained to The Advocate that Australians have been enjoying lung candy in the pool for generations – and this new study proves that point.
“We agree, smoking in the pool is the height of luxury,” she said.
“When accompanied by an ice cold beer or glass of rosé, the feeling of pleasure knows no bounds.”
More to come.
