ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Regional Express (REX) is bouncing back from having their Boeings repossessed by the bank last week by announcing that they’re just going to put the planes they own on the same routes because competition in aviation keeps ticket prices honest.
Despite Qantas bigwigs dancing on the grave of REX’s foray into jet-powered transport, the nation’s country airline says travel between the country’s biggest cities is still a part of their future plans.
Speaking to The Advocate today, REX’s in-house future-proofing strategist Gilroy “Roy” Gibbons said they’ve got the means to compete and the will to survive.
“A flight from Sydney Kingy (Kingsford Smith) to Melbourne Tulla (Tullamarine) in a Saab is only 30-45 minutes slower than a Boeing,” explained Roy.
“We could even fly into Moorabbin or Essendon, getting people closer to the action. Fuck it, we could do both! You know, we can do a lot more with a Saab that we own than a bloody Boeing we wet-lease from some bank. The future is actually that bright.”
Roy admits that the Saabs they have are pretty old, but they’ve been window shopping for some new ones.
“They’re old but they’re not fucked,” he said of the Saabs.
“You know, we could even go Sydney to Perth. It’d have to be a milkrun, but fuck me, if you had all day, it’d be pretty mad. Like the old Kangaroo Route to Europe on the flying boats. You’d fly Sydney, then maybe Dubbo, then on to Broken Hill, Adelaide, Ceduna, Kalgoorlie, then Perth. It’d take ages, but we’d let people out to have a smoke and perhaps a cold can out of the fridge at each airport. It’d be like the thinking man’s Indian Pacific. That’d be fucken cool.”
“Imagine the milkrun from Hobart to Cairns. Run it like you would a bus. People getting on and off. Some flying from Hobart to Cairns, all the way. 12 hours of cans. The Saab’s dunny would be overflowing with processed James Boags cans. You’d go Hobart, Lonny, Traralgon, Albury, West Wyalong, Coonamble, Gundy, Bundy, Rocky, The Ville, then Cairns. Or you’d go up the coast. Either way, it would be mad.”
“You just can’t do that with Qantas or Virgin. We’re going to keep doing these city routes to keep the dog up them. If not us, then who?”
More to come.
