KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A bloke who hasn’t eaten a carbohydrate since Christmas has spoken to The Advocate today to highlight just how hard it has been to get his rig into Mardi Gras condition.
One of the many French Quarter Betootans who will be making a pilgrimage to Oxford Street this weekend, local marketing executive Sebastian Conway (32) has told our reporter that his shredded physique has been the result of an incredibly grim diet and months of tasteless food.
“It’s been tough going, I’ve been eating tuna and broccolini for the past month and haven’t touched a single refined sugar all year,” Sebastian told our reporter as he packed his Country Round duffle bag for the most anticipated weekend of the year.
“I’m just an average bloke with an average athletic ability, the only way to burn the love handles off my hips is to not let a single carb touch my lips.”
As well as sticking to his dismal diet, Sebastian has told The Advocate that a gruelling schedule of F45 classes have helped him lose the last few remaining patches of body fat.
“I’ve been doing the MVP class every morning and a lunchtime spin class too, I’ve been crafting this rig to perfection.”
“Of course I’m keen for this weekend and I’ll be surviving on nothing but No Doz and Disco Biscuits, but just quietly I cannot wait to wake up on Monday and finally smash a loaf of Wonder White and some Nutella.”
“Look at this 8-pack, mate I’m starving!”
