LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A new saint may soon be canonised after a certified miracle happened in our lucky little outback oasis this week.
For the first time in recorded and pre literary history, a group chat consisting of over 10 people managed to organise a successful night on the piss that satisfied the needs of all in attendance.
The 19 member strong group chat titled Bush Pigs Ltd, is often used as a place to share niche humour, life updates and make plans that have the success rate and germination time of an avocado tree grown from seed.
Until last Saturday that is.
In the transcript of the groupchat, which has since been made public as a message of hope, chat participant Nat Flood flouted the idea of Friday night drinks to which the other members of the chat wholeheartedly agreed.
When the question of a venue came up, participant Jess Sy suggested Betoota cocktail bar Swanky’s Tavern from 7:30pm, a time and place that was immediately confirmed as ideal by the other 18 members of the chat.
“At first I thought it was too easy and it unsettled me a bit,” stated Sy, who has become accustomed to events needing several rounds of client-style feedback.
“It was like when a toddler goes quiet in the next room. You just don’t know what the fuck is happening and you get a little nervous.”
“Everyone just started saying yes. No one had a thing on that night and all baby sitters were available. The idea of doing something next week instead didn’t even come up once. Not once!”
With an efficiency clockmakers can only dream of, all 19 of the bush pigs arrived at Swanky’s at 7:30pm (except for Tommo who still insists on being fashionably late around his closest friends) and proceeded to have a red hot crack and share an absolute ripper of an evening on the piss.
“It was so much fun. Cocktails until we were rooted then Vinnie took us to this heaps mad pub where there were these Jatz looking tiles glued to the walls which Katie thought you were meant to eat, fuck she was shitfaced, we all were though, we were eating kebabs in the gutter at 3am saying it was the best night out we had since most of us got diagnosed with either anxiety and lactose intolerance.”
“I’d love to do it again but there’s no chance the stars are aligning like that again. To have it happen once though…now that’s special.”
At the time of writing, Bush Pigs Ltd members are continuing to share messy photos from the night including some of several chat participants who claim to still be hungover now.
MORE TO COME.
