ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
On top of Simon Pooley’s wardrobe, half full of $300 polyester suits and almost all of Uniqlo’s winter range, sits a drone.
The mildly-unpopular French Quarter accountant has no need for one – but that didn’t stop him buying one.
Each morning and indeed, every afternoon, he catches the D45 from Betoota Heights to and from work. In an effort to foster equality, he doesn’t offer his seat to women.
He listens to podcasts about entrepreneurship and innovation, which fuels his dreams of one day cutting the paid-by-the-month umbilical cord and braving the rough, high sea of self-employment.
But aside from that, his recent purchase of a drone was made possible by the 29-year-old robot calling it a ‘toy’.
Speaking candidly to The Advocate while he flew the drone this morning before work in Machattie Park, Pooley admitted that he didn’t need a drone – he just wanted one.
“As a member of the aspirational, salary-earning middle class, I’m able to make purchases such as the drone and justify it but saying I just needed it,” he said.
“While somebody like my own father, a red-faced bourgeois Baby Boomer, this purchase would seem financially reckless as it amounts to well over a week’s pay for me. Well, his generation has other things to entertain them, like having unprotected sex at an outdoor Led Zeppelin concert,”
“All their songs are about fucking! Anyway, they could afford property, education and travel. I can only afford room, board, insurance and things that take my mind off the sea of abject misery that is life as a Millennial. Honestly, this drone is keeping the shotgun out of my mouth in more ways than one. Now can you leave me alone? I want to film the top of this tree and some other things around the park.”
Simon then flew his drone north up the Pond track with him following closely behind underneath.
More to come.
