KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Heidi Stephens (29) has to put up with a lot.
As the long term girlfriend of local slob Liam Barrett, Heidi’s continually baffled by her boyfriend’s inability to conduct himself in public like an adult.
Pushing a trolley down the aisle of the West Betoota Woolworths this evening, the couple were racing to tick off their shopping list and get their fridge prepared for another busy week.
As the only member of their partnership that considers the importance of wholegrain fibres and leafy greens, tonight Heidi’s visit to the supermarket once again involved her mentally mapping out a week of semi-healthy meals whilst simultaneously knocking away her boyfriend’s attempts to sneak the odd box of Fruit Roll-Ups or Dunkaroos into the trolley.
But as the couple began to make their way down the vitamin, toilet paper and hosiery aisle, their grocery adventure took a turn when Liam realised he had the chance to stock up on some new undies.
Spotting a wall of colourful tickets advertising half-price Bonds, Liam decided he couldn’t pass on the opportunity to update his wardrobe of ratty ass rags which haven’t seen a new pair thrown into the rotation since 2020.
Pulling three pairs of trusty guyfront trunks off the display wall, Liam seemed to ponder for a moment as he strained to remember his underwear size.
“Hey babe, do you mind?” he asked as he looked back towards his jeans pockets and giving his girlfriend the begging look of a child.
“I think I’m a Large, or I could be an XL, can you have a look see?”
Scrunching her face up at the ask, Heidi looked around to ensure no fellow shoppers were watching, before lifting up the back of Liam’s shirt and pulling back the waist elastic for a little peek.
“Babe the labels are pretty much rubbed off, I think it’s an XL tho…” Heidi whispered, keen for this incredibly embarrassing interaction to be over as soon as possible.
“Maybe you need to lay off those Dunkaroos a bit…”
