ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A tourist’s dream holiday almost turned into a nightmare last night when he discovered that even on the car-free paradise of Hamilton Island, police perform Random Breath Tests (RBTs) on golf cart drivers.
The man, identified only as “Leo,” reportedly had consumed a staggering 25 schooners of Stone & Wood and no dinner when he encountered the RBT checkpoint.
Leo’s evening began innocently enough, with a friendly drink at the Marina Tavern with his brother, two cousins and our reporter.
“We set a good pace,” he said this morning, recounting the night in particular.
“Six schooners in the first hour then one every 15 minutes for the second then we kind of slowed down after that, once the sun went down, that is. By the time dinner time came around, we went to the bistro and they told us no dice, so we went back to our booth and continued to drink. Stone & Wood is a shithouse drop when you’re at home and I wouldn’t dream of touching the shit but on holiday above the Tropic of Capricorn, it’s unbeatable. Fine holiday drop,”
“But yeah, when the bar shut, you and my brother and cousins walked back to the resort but me and the wife, remember, we were staying out at that place on the point. But there’s no cars, no worries, right? Fuck me, I almost did my arse.”
The arse doing Leo is referring to is the fact Queensland Police often perform RBTs on the island and the road operate under the same rules and laws that the rest of the state adheres to.
“I come up over this crest and there’s fucking coppers doing an RBT. I thought, ‘I’m fucked. I’m going to jail. I’d be blowing in the point-threes for sure. My whole life lashed before my eyes.”
However, by the grace of God, the police waved him through.
“I nodded and waved at the police as I went through, they watched me float onto the wrong side of the road as I did it. Then the coppers looked at themselves and laughed. Shit I was pissed. But fuck mate, I could’ve been put in the lock up on Hamilton Island. Would’ve ruined golf the next day, that’s for sure,”
“Come to think of it, the 21 schooners I had the night before kind of ruined golf anyway.”
More to come.
