KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
In breaking news, a local coward has called in sick today after getting himself a routine flu shot, The Advocate can report.
Despite being the type of bloke who loves to tell his apprentices to “drink some concrete” every time they complain about a workplace accident, Dennis Carlton-Shandy (42) has reportedly been parked on the couch since Tuesday after getting a yearly jab in the arm.
A site manager who works for Western Queensland’s biggest housing development group, Dennis decided to get his shot after being offered a $50 grog shop voucher, an incentive his company has spruiked to encourage their workforce of 1,500 tradies to get ready for sniffle season.
So after spotting a poster advertising same-day flu shots at the Chemist Warehouse in West Betoota shopping plaza, Dennis crawled through the aisles of our towns cheapest chemist and got himself a hot dose of Fluquadri.
“Oath it’s knocked me for six, I haven’t felt this bad since I got juiced up with that bat jab back in 2020,” Dennis told our reporter, as he clipped his toenails on the couch.
“I’ve been flat as a tack battling neck aches, I feel like I’ve had a Tongan scrum collapse on me.”
However after further investigation, The Advocate can reveal the timing of Dennis’ flu shot appears to have been mildly strategic, as he looks to secure himself an extra long weekend.
Given his workplace thoroughly encouraged the jab, Dennis says this weekend he’s planning on putting his $50 Liquorland voucher to use and take his boat out with a case of Great Northerns.
“Flu jab Tuesday, out sick Wednesday and Thursday, then I’ll shoot a few emails Friday morning and be done with the week.”
“Pretty good deal if you ask me, if this thing is strong enough I won’t have to spend $20 on a box of Strepsils and cough syrup every week until September.”
More to come.
