ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A breeding pair of Betoota Heights sexagenarians were observed dancing to Crowded House in their living room this Wednesday morning by their live-at-home son.
Max, who moved home because he couldn’t afford housing and ‘his life’ at the same time, told The Advocate that he doesn’t like Crowded House because their songs sound like they were written for insurance ads.
“Everywhere you go? You take the weather? Sounds like the backing track to an ad about some old person’s home getting flooded or torched in a bushfire,” said the 27-year-old.
“It’s just Boomer Wiggles. You turn it on and they just go mad for it. Honestly, it’s like putting ABBA on at a middle-class woman’s 60th.”
When our reporter put it to Max that Crowded House was probably more in the Gen X category, Max just shrugged.
“Aren’t they pretty much the same? One can made a word file a PDF and one can’t? They’re both wearing ECCO sneakers and wearing their pants above their belly button now. I would’ve thought ska music was more Gen X. You know, you see those 50-year-olds with pot guts and porkpie hats. Tight black jeans with their gut hanging over their ACDC belt buckle or whatever? What do Gen X people like? Starwars and having a sook!”
“The worst are Millennials. They are easily the worst out of all of them. Crowded House is to Boomers like MGMT is to Millennials. But anyway, don’t get me started on Crowded House again. It’s Mambo Rock for people who own a beach house.”
Our reporter reminded Max that his parents do actually have a beach house and that when they’re not there, they’re at the ‘farm’ about an hour out of town.
“That’s how I know, dude. What music to you like Errol? You strike me as the kind of pensive loser that knows too much about Bob Dylan. No? Tell me I’m wrong. I can hear your knees click from the next room, dude.”
More to come.
