LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As a slow news week draws to the end, publishers everywhere scramble to engage their online audience with a story about the weird names people are giving their children these days using quotes from an agreeable man named Bruce.
According to Bruce, names have gone too far these days and new parents need to rein it in when it comes to the stylistic spelling choices and pick something a bit more monosyllabic and old fashioned like his parents did.
“Do you know how stupid some of these names are?” asked a man whose name sounds like a contagious skin condition.
“I heard the name Indigo for a girl. That’s not a name and if it is, it’s a boys name surely!”
In order to further increase his outrage, we provided Bruce with a list of popular baby names which included the names of characters from the popular TV show Game of Thrones, a show that no one called Bruce has ever watched.
“How do you say this one? Carl-lis-ee? Why would you spell it that way, that’s just plain stupid, you just know that kid is going to have a double-barrel last name don’t you?”
Bruce is referring the popular Game of Thrones character who leads large armies to conquest in a show where a character called Bruce is would probably just be some peasant who dies while taking a shit.
