EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Local woman Lindsay Vacluse just wanted to get a fucking microneedling session.
You see, when she’d spotted a deal for a half price microneedling treatment, she figured this would be the perfect opportunity to finally do something about her dogshit winter skin, and hopefully lighten some of those acne marks leftover from her naughty pimple squeezing sessions.
Considering she’d heard plenty of wonderful things about the collagen induction treatment, Lindsay figured it was time she bit the bullet and got hundreds of tiny needles dragged across her skin, all in the name of beauty.
But after naively rocking up to one of Betoota Heights most popular laser clinics, Lindsay was shocked to discover the treatment would not be going ahead – despite having already departed with $150 of her hard earned money online.
“What sort of products do you use on her face?” asked the 20 year old clinician.
“Ahh, vitamin C in the morning and retinol a few times a week but I’ve stopped that for two weeks. Moisturiser…and ah, yeah that’s it”, Lindsay had dutifully answered.
“Right well, we can’t do the treatment unless your skin has been prepared”, the clinician recited, albeit lacking the assertiveness that comes with working at a clinic for a while, “you’ll need a seven step treatment plan for two weeks before we can go ahead.”
Wondering how the fuck a product would prepare her skin for twenty minutes of needling, and knowing, without a doubt, that some skincare company had offered the clinic a kickback to partner up, Lindsay says she’s not too keen on getting products – only to be pretty much held to ransom, and told that the treatment could not be performed on her amateur skin.
“We recommend a glob glob cleanser, an even blend serum, a rejuvenate toner, charcoal peptide dust, a jelly mask, a lactation moisturiser and the queen’s honey needle hole filling wax.”
“That’s usually $2500 but because you’re a first time client, we can give it to you for $1800.”
More to come.
