KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Tired, off-colour, and worst of all, limp, a wilted bundle of Broccolini appears to be an ironic representation of a man’s scattered life this morning, as it spends its 5th day sitting idle in an over-frosted fridge.
Laying in the depths of an empty vegetable crisper, the bundle of greens in question are believed to have been purchased by local Betoota man Hamish Baker (29), who began his week relatively hopeful that he’d be able to stick to a healthy diet.
Gazing upon the limp bundle of greens held together by a faded purple rubber band, Mr Baker is understood to have been struck by a pang of guilt, reminded that once again he’s struggled to eat anything that resembles a vegetable since the Sunday Roast he enjoyed at the pub last weekend.
“Fuck, I was meant to cook that this week,” Baker whispered to himself.
“You’ve really gotta pull yourself together man, it’s March…”
After giving himself a little pep talk, Mr Baker told our reporter that after this week’s efforts, things would be different and a far healthier days were to come.
Sitting on the couch, whilst scrolling his phone for the closest cafe willing to deliver a Bacon & Egg Roll, Mr Baker told The Advocate he was determined to have another crack at a self-imposed ‘health kick’, but admitted it probably wouldn’t start until next week.
“Mate I’ve tried so hard to be good this week, I bought $100 worth of groceries on Monday so I wouldn’t eat out so much.”
“But if you looked through my bank account, you’d see that every lunch and dinner has been the type of meal that comes with an option of ‘Chips & Veg or Chips and Salad’, if you get my drift…”
“But it’s all gonna change though, next week the diet starts proper!”
