EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Ponds father of three has had his dad card revoked today, after failing to perform his proper daggy dad duties, it’s reported.
Shane Hemmings [41] is alleged to have been on strike three when the final incident occurred, with the Dad Police reporting that he’d failed to respond to ‘numerous opportunities to make a dad joke.’
The Advocate speaks to the officer who arrested Shane, to learn more.
“Yeah it’s pretty disgusting behaviour, especially since he’s been given so many chances”, says Officer Hugh Jass, “his first offence was failing to respond with ‘Hi thirsty, I’m dad”, which we all know, is like shooting fish in a barrel.”
“He should have known that one.”
Stating that Shane had partially redeemed himself when he pressed on a cold beer on his son’s bare arm, Jass admits it wasn’t enough by the time it got to offence #2.
“His wife went to go to lunch with friends, and came back within a couple of minutes because she forgot something.”
“And he didn’t even say ‘well, that was fast.”
Seeing our reporter’s disgusted face, Jass assures her it ‘gets a lot worse.’
“I know, I know, I almost locked him up straight away for that one.”
“But the final straw was when he went for a Bunnings trip with his eldest son.”
“Didn’t once point a stud finder towards himself and say ‘found him!'”
“I almost called CPS.”
More to come.
