ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights man has reportedly told friends this afternoon that he only indicates leaving a roundabout whenever there’s a policeman in the vicinity.
Gregor Redpath’s friends recoiled in horror as he admitted the repeated legal trespasses over his third pot of lager at the Cashew & Pogostick Hotel.
“Jesus wept, Gregor!” said one fellow hotel patron.
“You can just say that out loud! What if somebody hears? They’ll put you in handcuffs on the spot. Traffic cops drink in this hotel all time!”
Gregor smiled and finished his drink.
“Yeah,” he said.
“They also drive home half cut like us, as well.”
With that, he took a short headcount of what he needed to order as it was his shout.
Once inside, our reporter spoke to some other locals who just learned what Gregor’s been doing.
“You need to indicate when you leave a roundabout,” said Gavin, a friend.
“Everybody knows somebody who’s been booked for not doing it. Hell, I’ve heard of a bloke losing his licence over it. These small towns aren’t as big as you think. People talk,”
“But you can’t just be getting half a gutful of piss in you and bragging about breaking the law thousands of times! There are literally 30 or 40 roundabouts in Betoota alone. God knows how he hasn’t been caught yet.”
The Advocate phoned the Betoota Heights police station for comment and received clarification on the law.
“Well, yeah,” said probationary constable Mike Catt.
“I’m like 90% it’s illegal but I don’t think anybody actually knows for sure. Can you hang on a minute? I’ll ask my sergeant,”
The police hold music is the Very Best of The Police.
“Hello? This is Detective Sergeant John Pichot, who’s this?”
Our reporter exchanged pleasantries with the detective.
“Ah right. Yeah look. It all depends on how a certain policeman is feeling, I guess. It’s like jaywalking. One day you might get book, one day you might get away with it in front of a policeman. One day you might see a policeman jaywalk. Then there’s other days when you get run over by a cab or something,”
“Food for thought. Surely you’ve got something from that. Thanks.”
More to come.
