CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local Betoota Heights dad, Benjamin Vega (43) has really had the wind taken out of his sails today.
His big effort to treat his teenage son to some unadulterated mid-1990s Tarantino ultra-violence has been met with an unimpressed and almost ungrateful response.
In fact, it seems like Jordie Vega (14) has today completely ignored the fact that he wouldn’t usually be allowed to watch a movie with this much drug use and blood.
After having to sit through weeks of mercilessly over-the-top marvel movies, Benjamin decided enough was enough, and decided to expose his son to a real bloody movie with today’s post-lunch screening of Pulp Fiction (1994)
With his dad giving him side-eyes throughout the entire film, just to make sure he is watching every second of it, Jordie sits emotionless for the full 154 minutes of chronologically inconsistent brilliance.
Jordie’s dad is so clearly obsessed with this film that he can’t help but recite some of the more famous lines like “Yolanda Be Cool!” and “You Hear My Hillbilly Boy!?”
This overt enthusiasm has made Jordie’s review even more heartbreaking for Benjamin when it was time for him to deliver his brutally honest review of the old man’s favourite movie.
“SO…” says the old man with big grin on his face as the closing credits roll.
“WHAT DID YA THINK OF THAT!?”
Jordie goes quiet and sighs.
“Yeah” he says.
“Okay”
“I guess”
The look of joy across dad’s face quickly turns into a bitter scowl.
“Sorry it’s not some brain numbing action movie full of special effects” spits Benjamin, before ramping himself up even more. His spray continues.
“You know what. Fuck it. Give me your phone. No more TikTok. If that’s what you consider to be the height of entertainment then there is something very wrong with your generation.”
“In fact, give me the iPad as well. No more playstation either. If that is what you have to say about the greatest movie of all time, then you can go and get fucked.”
“Put your runners on. We are going to the park for a beep test”
At time of press, Benjamin had calmed down and was reiterating that he wasn’t angry, just really disappointed in his son’s attention span and the disheartening standards of modern cinema.
MORE TO COME.
