ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Betoota Heights freak Jenny Malone is celebrating the news that language app Duolingo has officially released a course in Simlish, a type of pidgin English used The Sims video game series.
“I honestly thought this day would never come,” said the 24-year-old.
“I’ve been practicing Simlish on my own for years, but now I can actually learn it properly! It’s a dream come true.”
While most people were stunned to hear that Simlish has any kind of structure, Jenny has been a devoted fan of the pidgin language ever since she started playing the life-simulation game as a child.
“I’ve always wanted to have a real conversation with my Sims instead of just guessing what ‘Sul Sul’ means,” she explained.
“Now I can finally achieve full immersion. Like this. In Simlish, a sample sentence like “Excuse me, waiter, can I have the lamb pita roll, please?” is: ‘Ah, plobee wah moo? Cah voodoo lam pita roll, pleef?'”
Her friends, however, are concerned this might be the final step in Jenny’s transformation into what they’re calling a “full-blown weirdo.”
“She went on a date with an actual surgeon the other day, like he’s normal and, kind of OK looking, but like Jenny said she fucked it by trying to order in Simlish and her date asked what language it was and Jenny said ‘Simlish, from The Sims’ and the guy just squinted and shook his head,” said Jenny’s best mate, Rachel.
“This will only get worse now. This will only stand to encourage her to speak Simlish in public.”
Despite the raised eyebrows, Jenny is embracing her new obsession.
“People don’t understand how versatile Simlish is. Soon I’ll be fluent, and I can finally start thinking in Simlish too.”
“Dag dag!”
More to come.
