EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local woman has been left disappointed today, after realising her fantasy of meeting a tradie husband at home was just that – a fantasy.

Sharise Becker [26] is alleged to have realised her ‘opportunity’ after the oven in her share house spontaneously exploded, and she was the only roommate who could work from home that day.

She explains to The Advocate that ‘she takes every opportunity where she can”, as “the apps are just wearing her thin and she’s one more sexual innuendo away from throwing her handbag in the river.”

Stating that an electrician was the perfect type of tradesmen to have this meet cute with, seeing as it wasn’t exactly romantic to flirt with a plumber putting a snake through her toilet drain, Sharise says she’d envisioned a sun kissed bloke in his early thirties, with biceps bursting through his work shirt.

Knowing that she would definitely get a hot tradie if she wore her usual work from home getup of a heavily stained hoodie and track pants (the rules of the universe), Sharise instead decided to pop on a cute tank top and shorts – therefore guaranteeing she would get an old man instead.

“Fucks sake”, she moans, “I swear to god, if I’d looked like utter dogshit, I would have had Jensen Ackles doppleganger in my kitchen.”

“Instead I got Mikołaj.”

“He kept asking me questions about the glass.”

“I don’t know Mikołaj!”

“I didn’t even know the oven was broken!”

More to come.

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