MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
A pudgy boyfriend is expected to be put on a diet this week after his girlfriend realised not all footy boys “need to pack on some size” during the off-season.
Enjoying some beers at their local, local pair Jared Tookey and Georgia Grey were doing their bit for Queensland and watching the Brisbane Lions run out onto the MCG, when Georgia noticed the players look a bit different to the Leaguies.
As athletes like Jaspa Fletcher and Will Ashcroft lept out onto the field, Georgia clocked that their lean arms and agile hips were something out of a Russian Ballet recital.
“Who’s that one…” Georgia asked, firing up Instagram to get her stalk on.
“It’s a bit different from the League hey,” she added, as she began to daydream about what it could be like to cosy up to a ripped bloke that hasn’t got beefy forearms the size of a pork leg from Corangamite.
After meeting three years ago at a Betoota B&S, it’s believed Georgia was initially pretty charmed by Jared’s big shoulders and thick glutes, and would often describe her new found love to her friends as being “big boned”.
However now that Jared’s dropped out of first grade footy, and is starting to let himself go as he ages into his early 30’s, she’s certainly noted the thick spare tyre growing around his guts.
“What’s the secret you think, is it because they run a lot more,” she coaxed, gently tapping Jared on his thighs.
“Do you guys do much running at footy training, maybe you should do a bit more…”
As Jared cracked open his second can of 8% Bourbon and Cola for the afternoon, he was quick to squash any suggestions that maybe he should be spending less time benching, and more time on the treadmill.”
“Yeah nah, they’re cardio’s just a bit better,” Jared conceded.
“But give me one round in the boxing ring and I’d towel them up,” he added, with his frail masculinity just a tad bruised.
More to come.
