Local Girl’s Boobs Unfortunately First On The Chopping Block After Making Decision To Get Fit

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

When local woman Maya Hogarth [26] decided to become a gym junkie as part of her very cliche New Year’s resolution, she’d no idea the price she’d have to pay to get the rig of her dreams – a price, she’s now thinking, may not even be worth it, even if she is starting to get some insane traps.

This is because despite her doing six days of CrossFit a week, Maya has failed to budge fat in the places that society deems bad, and has instead watched as her pride and joy (her boobs) has slowly disappeared from her very eyes.

You see, just like when her fed up high school teacher made her drop to Prevocational maths, Maya has watched her C’s slowly morph into A’s.

And she’s fucking pissed off about it.

“I just wanted to get ripped”, Maya seethed, nursing a permanent shoulder injury, “but I’m yet to get a six pack.”

“All this hard work…”

“And I’ve lost my goddamn boobs.”

“What a SCAM!”

More to come.