ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Local man Ethan Loman, of Riverside Crescent in Betoota Heights, has revealed today that he still hasn’t fully recovered from what he describes as “deeply harmful anti-cat propaganda” embedded in the Hairy Maclary books that are still part of a bedtime ritual for children all over the world.
“I used to go to sleep thinking about that cat,” Loman told The Advocate.
“Scarface Claw. Dad used to turn the page really slowly then thrust the page at me like the cat was attacking me. It’s one of my earliest memories. I hate cats now.”
Loman’s traumatic encounter with the “toughest tom in town” as a boy has left a lasting impression. While most of his generation moved on from the Hairy Maclary universe around the time they discovered Goosebumps, Loman says he can’t even look at a stray cat without assuming it’s out to get him.
“It’s not even just fictional cats,” said his partner, Mylanta Kemp.
“Ethan is scared of all cats. He changes his path when he sees one. He stares at them and studies them. He laughed once at a missing cat poster, he turned to me and said, ‘Hopefully it’s fucking dead!’ before cackling to himself.”
Child psychologist Dr. Wendy McMahon, who works with kids at the Green Street State School, says she sees a surprising number of cases like Loman’s, especially from millennial parents passing their Hairy Maclary fears down to their own kids.
“It’s essentially an early indoctrination against cats,” explained Dr. McMahon.
“Scarface Claw may as well be George Pell in a fur coat. These books are telling children, ‘Cats are dangerous predators, they’re scary, and you should probably run the other way.’ It’s no surprise some of them are still affected decades later.”
Loman, however, remains resolute in his fear.
“I’m just saying, if Scarface Claw were real, I’d have paid overs for a hot Smith & Wesson Model 19, in .357 Magnum,” he muttered.
“I knew one of the lads who did over that armoured car in 2005 out the front of the St George in Algonquin St down in the French Quarter. The took the cash and the guard’s weapons. They’re dead now but I know where the sidearms are buried.”
“I would take the fight to that cat.”
More to come.
